‘To your health’ by Keaton Henson

So this weekend, has, for some reason, been pretty emotionally driven, definitely in terms of honesty, reality, conversations, reading and here, blog posts. I’m not sure if it’s because I’ve not left the house in three days as I’ve been in PhD land on writing lockdown, or whether it is because I’m well me. Rachel. Anyway, thanks to my colleague and friend Stephen for today’s insight and interlude from PhD land…a short film called ‘To your health’ by singer Keaton Henson, directed by William Williamson and choreography by Marguerite Porter, shown on Channel 4 as part of their ‘Random Acts’ short-film series, which if you don’t know about, I’d definitely take a look. Some really amazing things on there that I’ll no doubt be posting and writing about again soon.

I watched this at 1.30pm today. It makes reference to the end of a relationship, an end to something, and to a struggle, a manifestation of emotion that I’m sure all of us have experienced at some stage in our lives, set against yesterday’s blog post that talks about the end of a friend’s marriage. As some of you know, I’ve been a ballerina for over half my life so was self-referencing a little when I watched this. I am in love with ballet. Immersed in its dual lyricism of word and movement, silenced, I cried like I couldn’t breathe, like its grip had taken hold of my soul. It felt right somehow. This film is simple…articulately executed by the ballerina Elizabeth Harrod…her face, her arms, her poise. From the choreographed varied pace of movement versus the repetitious loops, to the occasional sound of her ballet shoes as they patter against the concrete floor…the play of light through the warehouse windows onto the ballerina’s skin, to the sound of breathing at the end of the track that is in contradiction, unnerving yet so very calming…the powerful desperation, reach, want of what’s lost, to the hope, the hope in the last breath, the peace, that moment. Lost in that moment. Now back to writing…

“Make mine a pain in the neck
Here’s to you, you old wreck
And mine is a thorn in the side
Drink up, so we can both finally die

And I’ll have a bright yellow boat
With nothing to row
With nothing to row

So make mine an ore out of luck
Here’s to you, you miserable fuck
And why did she finally leave?
Cause all you think of is me
Cause all you think of is me

To your health
To your health

Make mine a pain in the neck
Here’s to you, you old wreck”